Dear Friends,
We have been talking in Session how important our words are. They can be used to cause pain and they can be used to heal and bless. I read a theologian (whose name escapes me) that says it is no fluke that Jesus is called the “Word” of God. For God specifically works through words. Think about it. How would we know that Jesus loves us if someone did not tell us, or if we did not read it? I dare say we wouldn’t.
Words have the potential to carry so much grace with them. They enable us to express God’s care across the 3 or 4 feet of air that hangs between you and another. Words give us the power to take that experience of God’s love and give it to another across the internet or through the postal system. And that is miraculous.
It is no small thing when we decide to use our words to thank or encourage or sympathize with someone. It is an almost divine act. A month ago I wrote of the shock of being diagnosed with diabetes. In response I have been flooded by the Holy Spirit with His love through your words. You have said the most encouraging things to me on the phone, over coffee, in the back of the sanctuary, and wherever else you have found me. And that has helped me. It really has. God is healing me and you all are part of the way He is doing that. Thanks you!
Let me share with you some of the words of hope I received. “Both Walter and I have been type 2 diabetics for about 10 years. Take courage! We will pray for you. (Janet and Walter Morritz)” “My prayers and thoughts are with you. Your words are very powerful and moving. Thank you for sharing so much of your life with us. (Sunny Yim)” “We can beat this, Charlie. You can live long, long. Keep the faith! (Karen Yoneda). ” “I think about you and your diabetes and pray for you. I would be devastated if I had it. (Peter Smith)” “So sorry to hear of your diabetes diagnosis. You are a strong person and you can handle this and it will make you stronger. (Carol Grimm)” “I’ve been praying for you all week. Sometimes a diagnosis of diabetes is not as bad as it sounds. I know because of someone I loved for many years. It does not take over your life! You have tremendous prayer support from all of us, as well as our endless appreciation. Love and Prayers, Peggy Howard”
How could a person not feel that God is with them after receiving those words of love? How could a person not know that they are cared for after hearing those words? How could a person not feel good after words like these? It is such a blessing when people choose to join God with their words.
May we each be inspired to encourage each other in our times of weakness!
Sincerely, Pastor Charlie
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
A diagnosis
Dear Friends,
I was diagnosed with diabetes about five weeks ago. It was a total shock. My first reaction was sudden acute anger. Unbidden curse words came to mind. And terrible fear. “Will I be able to hold my son’s children?” I headed home feeling like a wounded and marked man.
This illness has a particular fright for me. Years ago, I visited many diabetic patients who were in the hospital because of complications from that disease. Several times I sat with the unbounded emotional pain of patients who were recovering from amputations. I prayed with those who were undergoing complicated and unsuccessful diabetic caused vascular surgeries. They spoke of a slow process of pieces of their bodies not working properly. I have a good friend going blind from diabetes. I thought more than once, “I’m so glad that I don’t have diabetes in my family. The way I’ve seen that disease eat people up bit by bit, I am relieved that I will never have it.” And now I have it too, the disease that I most feared.
When I left my doctor, I called my Uncle. He is a diabetes specialist. He immediately spoke to my fears. He promised me that I could live a life free of adverse effects from diabetes if I applied the tools available with intelligence and commitment. Days later he even told me that I will be healthier than if I didn’t have diabetes because I will be so dedicated to staying healthy.
The next week was very difficult. I tried to learn everything that I could about the disease. Debbie and I went to four hours of diabetes training at Evergreen hospital. It was helpful and also depressing. At times I cried, or was numb, or angry. Sometimes I just felt so frightened.
What about my relationship with Jesus? Well, I was initially very angry at Him. Didn’t he know that I had enough difficult things to carry? Doesn’t he care? Ironically, the Holy Spirit spoke to me through the “dismal” books of the Bible – Job and Ecclesiastes. I saw myself in both the words of Job and the preacher of Ecclesiastes. When Job said, “God, I feel like you are an enemy because you do not stop these bad things,” resonated with that anger. “Yes God, why are you doing this… or not stopping this?” When Ecclesiastes says, “what is life worth? For bad things happen to you and you die” I said “Yes! It stinks!” It was important to hear my voice lifted up in the Bible.
I was angry with Jesus that he did not spare me this disease. I tried to be thankful that I had the diagnosis. You know, knowledge given which allows me to do something about it. But my heart was not there. But over time, through days of expressing my pain to others and Christ, I began to see His loving hand in this.
I opened my eyes to the miracle that my uncle is one of the foremost experts on this problem and that he loves me and wants to help me. I opened my eyes to the gift of the glucometer and intervention. I opened my eyes to all the loving support I have in my family, my church, and my friends. And I began to see that Jesus is healing me. Not in an instantaneous miracle, but in a process of providing good medical advice and care. A miracle all the same. I will hold my son’s children.
I am coming to grips with this. It is not easy. I have asked Jesus many times to help and heal me and he is. With His presence, I will do well through this disease. Pray for me.
Living by His grace, Pastor Charlie
I was diagnosed with diabetes about five weeks ago. It was a total shock. My first reaction was sudden acute anger. Unbidden curse words came to mind. And terrible fear. “Will I be able to hold my son’s children?” I headed home feeling like a wounded and marked man.
This illness has a particular fright for me. Years ago, I visited many diabetic patients who were in the hospital because of complications from that disease. Several times I sat with the unbounded emotional pain of patients who were recovering from amputations. I prayed with those who were undergoing complicated and unsuccessful diabetic caused vascular surgeries. They spoke of a slow process of pieces of their bodies not working properly. I have a good friend going blind from diabetes. I thought more than once, “I’m so glad that I don’t have diabetes in my family. The way I’ve seen that disease eat people up bit by bit, I am relieved that I will never have it.” And now I have it too, the disease that I most feared.
When I left my doctor, I called my Uncle. He is a diabetes specialist. He immediately spoke to my fears. He promised me that I could live a life free of adverse effects from diabetes if I applied the tools available with intelligence and commitment. Days later he even told me that I will be healthier than if I didn’t have diabetes because I will be so dedicated to staying healthy.
The next week was very difficult. I tried to learn everything that I could about the disease. Debbie and I went to four hours of diabetes training at Evergreen hospital. It was helpful and also depressing. At times I cried, or was numb, or angry. Sometimes I just felt so frightened.
What about my relationship with Jesus? Well, I was initially very angry at Him. Didn’t he know that I had enough difficult things to carry? Doesn’t he care? Ironically, the Holy Spirit spoke to me through the “dismal” books of the Bible – Job and Ecclesiastes. I saw myself in both the words of Job and the preacher of Ecclesiastes. When Job said, “God, I feel like you are an enemy because you do not stop these bad things,” resonated with that anger. “Yes God, why are you doing this… or not stopping this?” When Ecclesiastes says, “what is life worth? For bad things happen to you and you die” I said “Yes! It stinks!” It was important to hear my voice lifted up in the Bible.
I was angry with Jesus that he did not spare me this disease. I tried to be thankful that I had the diagnosis. You know, knowledge given which allows me to do something about it. But my heart was not there. But over time, through days of expressing my pain to others and Christ, I began to see His loving hand in this.
I opened my eyes to the miracle that my uncle is one of the foremost experts on this problem and that he loves me and wants to help me. I opened my eyes to the gift of the glucometer and intervention. I opened my eyes to all the loving support I have in my family, my church, and my friends. And I began to see that Jesus is healing me. Not in an instantaneous miracle, but in a process of providing good medical advice and care. A miracle all the same. I will hold my son’s children.
I am coming to grips with this. It is not easy. I have asked Jesus many times to help and heal me and he is. With His presence, I will do well through this disease. Pray for me.
Living by His grace, Pastor Charlie
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